Into the Debug Room
by TeaFlower
Summary: When a science experiment goes horribly wrong, Cloud and co. find out how unstable their world is. And they mess with it. Episode 3: Is 'squishied' even a word, Cloud?
1. Chapter 1: The HP Counter

TeaFlower Presents… Because her internet is dead…

Into the Debug Room

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all related junk don't belong to me. Also, don't sue me.

Hello, everyone! As you may or may not know, my name is TeaFlower. I've started a few fanfics in the FFVII category, but they've… all… died… heh… ANYWAY! I hope you enjoy this. It's totally random.

Episode One: The HP Counter

Our story begins somewhere near Nibelheim in a little house that used to be an elderly home. Had I continued 'Under One Roof', you would get this most likely. Anyway, AVALANCHE was living there. And Cloud, being the evil genius he is (check 'Why AVALANCHE Hates Stuff' for more info), was messing with some piece of machinery. Everyone else was just hanging around. When, from down in the lab (also called their basement), they heard a laugh.

"IT IS COMPLETE!!" Cloud screamed. He ran upstairs, tripped, got up, and continued running. "You guys! You guys, you won't believe this!" he said breathlessly into the intercom. "Come down to the living room now!" With a sigh, everyone left what they were doing and went to the living room.

"Awright, man," Barret said, crossing his arms… yeah… let's go with that… "What is it? I was just beating Cid's sorry ((beep)) in Poker!"

"Yeah, Cloud," Yuffie said, hopping from one foot to another, "I want to get back to my soda! Mm… soda…"

Cloud sighed. "Alright, I'll make this quick." He held up the thing. "Guess what this is?" he asked.

"A Gameshark?" Yuffie asked.

"A chew toy?" Red XIII asked hopefully.

"Something to chuck at your head?" Vincent muttered.

"A shiny thing?" Cait asked.

"A lie-detector?" Cid said.

"… a bracelet?" Tifa asked.

"Tifa's closest!" Cloud said. "Yes, it is a bracelet of some sort. You see… it tells you how many hits you can take before you faint. I call those Hit Points." He put it on Tifa's left wrist and pressed a few buttons. "Just have to get it up and running…" The thing started whirring. A weird code appeared on it. Then, four 9's appeared. "Tifa can take exactly nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine hits of damage." Then, the thing started to do weird things. It shook, it made weird grinding noises, and the numbers went nuts! Cloud blinked. The thing tightened around Tifa's wrist.

"Ow!" she yelped. "Cloud, make it stop!"

"Don't panic, Tifa," Cloud said, trying to pry the thing from her wrist and… failing… "There's nothing to panic about."

"… I can't feel my pinky finger…"

"… there's something panic about!"

Vincent sighed. "Good going there, Cloud, you just ensured Tifa a prosthetic hand."

"Vincent, shut up!" Cloud yelled. He tried knawing the bracelet off, tried having Red knaw it off, tried to take a steak knife to it, tried cutting it with Vincent's claw, tried shooting it with Vincent's gun, and tried entering another code. All of those did not release the grip on the bracelet. But the last one caused 7 more bracelets to fly out and attach themselves to everyone's left wrist. Everyone kinda panicked. Cloud started entering another code onto his.

"Guys, I'm pretty sure this one will be it! Enter the code, '8009ABF6 0041' into the thing!" Everyone did so. But the code did nothing.

"You suck, man!" Barret said, then stormed into the kitchen.

"I will never use my left hand again! NO MORE GAMEBOY!" Yuffie screamed, then ran upstairs.

Red ran off crying. Cait ran out of the house. Cid went to the bathroom. Tifa went to the kitchen to get some butter. And Vincent just sighed and went upstairs.

"Dammit!" Cloud said, then went downstairs.

Except downstairs wasn't exactly downstairs.

END EPISODE

Into the Debug Room

Disclaimer: Dammit all! No FF7 Debug Room videos and not a Gameshark of my own? Guess this is purely imagination… FF7 doesn't belong to me… my bible in this Fanfic is ADean's Debug Room Guide at GameFAQs. Go check it out. And get me pics and videos of the Debug Room in action!


	2. Chapter 2: Realization

Into the Debug Room 

Disclaimer: Dammit all! No FF7 Debug Room videos and not a Gameshark of my own? Guess this is purely imagination… FF7 doesn't belong to me… my bible in this Fanfic is ADean's Debug Room Guide at GameFAQs. Go check it out. And get me pics and videos of the Debug Room in action!

Episode 2: Realization

Cloud looked around. Everyone except Cait was in this dark room. There was no light. Everyone looked kinda scared. Especially Yuffie. "Um… where are we?" Cloud asked.

No one knew. Yuffie ran over to Cloud and hid behind him. She whispered, "There are two of me here…"

"What?" Cloud said.

"THERE ARE TWO OF ME HERE!" Yuffie screamed. She pointed in a direction and indeed there was another Yuffie standing there.

"I'm outta here!" Cid and Barret yelled, then both left through an odd, glowy… portal thing… Red looked around. Tifa tried to pry the bracelet off again, but it wouldn't move. Vincent looked at the second Yuffie.

Cloud walked over to the second Yuffie and said, "Hi! How are you? Where are we?"

The second Yuffie just stared into space and said in a monotone, "Next; Menu-On; Battle Lock; Battle Unlock; Movie Lock; Movie Unlock; Global Reset; Full Name; Exit."

"… WHAT?" Cloud screamed. He turned to the team. "What should I say?"

"… next…" Tifa said.

"Okay… Next!"

The second Yuffie nodded and said, "Back; Sound Reset; Full Materia; Battle999; Exit."

Cloud looked at everyone else again. "What now?"

"Exit." Vincent muttered.

"Full Materia!" Yuffie said, intrigued at the thought of Materia.

"Back; I want to know what Global Reset does…" Tifa said.

"Battle999?" Red said.

Cloud paced for a bit, then said, "Battle999 sounds good."

The second Yuffie nodded and snapped her fingers. Five floating pyramid things appeared. Cloud looked at them. Vincent raised an eyebrow. Tifa gave a disbelieving look. Yuffie blinked. Red scratched behind his ear. Vincent finally got bored and shot the middle one. It didn't react. But then a fanfare went off and everyone felt like they had become a little stronger. The things then disappeared as fast as they had appeared.

"… well…" Red said, "That was… different…"

"Maybe we should leave…" Tifa said.

"How will we get out?" Cloud asked.

The second Yuffie pointed in turn to 10 different spots. "Those will lead to the other rooms. But…" She pointed to the glowy portal thing, "That will take you back to outside any town or house. Or, as we call it in here, the World Map. But to get to the other rooms, turn off the code."

Vincent blinked. "Turn off the code? What do you mean?"

The second Yuffie walked over to everyone and messed with the bracelet. Eventually, the bracelet said, 'Code deactivated.' "That is what I mean. Enjoy your stay here." She walked back to her place.

"Where are we, though?" Cloud asked.

The second Yuffie looked at each of them. "You are in the Debug Room. Enjoy your stay."

Red looked around. "… where's Cait?"

"Who cares?" Cloud said, kinda angry, "We're stuck in a programming room!"

Yuffie looked at the first place the second Yuffie had pointed to. "I think that we should go check that out first." And so they went to the first exit.

END EPISODE


	3. Chapter 3: The First Room

Into the Debug Room

Disclaimer: FF7 don't belong to me. Wow, this is fun! I can't get away from this!

Episode Three: The First Room

A mysterious voice boomed over the room. "Welcome to Final Fantasy 7 English Version."

Cloud looked around. He saw… Aeris… all dressed up… and Barret in a sailor suit... and another Tifa… dressed up… and one of the guards on the trains… and a HoneyBee Inn girl… and Rude… and a dog and cat and… dolphin… and a sailor… and a wizard… and a lady in a bathing suit… and… Sephiroth? Cloud shook his head and walked over to Barret. He seemed to have fallen.

"Yo, Barret!" Cloud said, "Get up!" Barret said something, but Cloud didn't hear it. "What?"

Barret stood. He looked at Cloud and said, in a monotone like the other Yuffie, "7th Street."

"… huh?"

Barret continued. "Welcome Home, before memory, Materia, good morning, before battle, cancel, after memory."

Cloud looked at Barret funny. "… 7th street?" he said, kinda confused. Barret nodded and put his fingers up to snap them. "Uh…" Snap! Cloud disappeared.

MEANWHILE…

Cloud looked around. He saw the inside of Beginners Hall. Tifa and Barret walked in. "This was the place I wanted to show you, Cloud." Tifa said.

"Shiny…" Barret said, walking over to a giant jumping question mark. "It's the mythical Save Point…"

Cloud blinked. He looked at his bracelet. "Um… where'd the debug room go?"

"The wha?" everyone asked.

Cloud looked at Tifa. "We were just in the Debug Room with Yuffie and Vincent and Red and… and… Barret was there! In a sailor suit! And Aeris, too! And Sephy! He was there too!"

Tifa shook her head. "Cloud, I think you were dreaming. There is no such thing as the Debug Room. I've never even heard of Aeris or Yuffie or Red or Vincent…"

Barret looked at Cloud. "I've never been in a sailor suit all my life, yo! And I never will be!"

Cloud sighed. "I have to get back there!" He looked at his left wrist. The bracelet was still there, but it wasn't as tight. He could pull it off right now and that would be that. No more of this stupid world. But everyone else was still in there. He had to save them. He punched in the code again (the bracelet tightened), said, "See ya!" and walked out of Beginner's Hall. Five seconds later, a different Cloud walked in. "Hey. Is this what you wanted to show me, Tifa?"

MEANWHILE…

Cloud reappeared in the room with Yuffie. He ran up to her. "The hell kinda place is this?" he screamed.

"It is the Debug Room." Yuffie said.

"I WAS JUST IN BEGINNER'S HALL!"

"Yes, that happens."

"I wanna go home!"

"Only way out of here is through that portal. But… don't go through it with the code on."

"Why not?"

Yuffie walked over to the portal and snapped her fingers. A screen popped up. "If you do, the world will look like this." On the screen it was entirely white. There were towns and stuff, but other than that, nothing. Cait Sith, Barret, and Cid were on the land. "They're stuck there unless they reset."

"… reset?"

"Yes. L1 plus L2 plus R1 plus R2 plus Select plus Start. It resets everything. They just don't know how to do it."

"How do I turn of this damn code?"

"Press that big orange button labeled 'Turn Off Code'."

"… oh." Cloud pressed the button and ran back to the first room.

Everyone was still there. Cloud ran up to Sailor Barret (who was lying down again) and kicked him really hard. "Bastard!" he yelled.

Vincent looked at Cloud. "Where'd YOU go?"

"Back to Sector 7."

"Sector 7? That was my favorite sector. Still there?

"Nope. Got squishied."

"Damn."

Tifa ran up to Cloud. "I wanna go and see the bar again! TAKE ME!"

Cloud sighed. "I bet something BAD is gonna happen. But… who wants to go see Sector 7?" Everyone except Red raised their hand. Red started talking to the dressed-up Tifa. "Okay! Hold hands now!" Everyone held hands ((snigger)) and Cloud kicked Sailor Barret again. He rolled over.

"What now?" he asked, seeming kinda annoyed.

"7th street, please!" Cloud said. Barret sighed and snapped his fingers. They disappeared.

"Select my party?" Red said.

"Yes." Tifa said.

"Um… hell. Sephiroth, Aeris, and Red XIII." Sephiroth and Aeris popped out of nowhere.

"… the hell?" Sephiroth said.

"Um…" Aeris started, "Aren't I dead?"

"Cool." Red said. "I'm team leader!"

"Damn!" Sephiroth said.

"Seriously!" Aeris said. "Aren't I dead?"

"… what now?" Red asked.

Tifa pointed to the dog. "Go talk to the dog. He'll give you a surprise if you select Junondoc2."

Red ran up to the dog. "Junondoc2, please!" The dog barked and they found themselves in the ocean.

"… can anyone swim?" Red asked.

MEANWHILE…

"So, this is Beginner's Hall?" Cloud asked. They had just gotten over the shock of another Cloud.

"Yup." Tifa said.

"I'm no beginner! I'm an Ex-SOLDIER!" Cloud yelled.

Then a voice said, "No you aren't! You're a liar!" Vincent stepped into the room.

"… who the hell are you?" Barret asked.

"… um…" Vincent said.

Yuffie skipped in. "Hey! It's Barret! That's where you went!"

Barret blinked. "Um…"

Cloud and Tifa stepped in as well. Everyone stared. Then Cloud screamed, "RUN!" The four ran from the room. "That was messed up!" he said.

"I… I think we should go back there, Cloud…" Tifa said. She was shaking. "My memories… they're changing…"

Cloud sighed. "Alright. Remember the code? '8009ABF6 0041'? Enter it." Everyone did so. "Now, let's go to Tifa's bar and get drunk!"

"I'm a minor!" Yuffie said.

"I hate the taste of alcohol!" Vincent said.

"We're gonna freak out Marlene!" Tifa said.

"We're going anyway." Cloud walked toward the bar. Everyone sighed and followed. They found themselves back in the Debug Room with the other Yuffie.

"I suggest you go get your friends. They can't swim." She said.

Cloud sighed. "What did Red do?"

"He called forth Aeris and Sephiroth as his party members and made himself leader."

"That was stupid." Vincent said.

"He also got himself stuck in the ocean. He can't swim."

Cloud sighed. "We don't have time to get him. Let's go to room 2." They went to the second place Yuffie pointed to.

END EPISODE

_---Damn! This getting crazy!—_


End file.
